


Flight of the Bumblebee

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2015 [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean, Cas learning to be happy again, Castiel and Dean Winchester First Meet, Castiel falls for Dean, Castiel is recovering from a bad break up, Dean Winchester Realizes His Feelings For Castiel, Dean didn't break his heart, Demisexual Castiel, Don't worry, Emotionally damaged Dean, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gabriel is being a supportive older brother, Heartbroken Castiel, Learning to find their own happiness, M/M, Mention of past relationships, Numb Castiel, Past Castiel/Meg Masters, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Reclusive Dean, Sam and Gabriel are just friends in this, Severely depressed Castiel, Unclear Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5249174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas spent over a decade with his girlfriend Meg.  He had changed his major to law when she asked him to.  He'd gone to work for her father when she asked him to.  He dressed the way she wanted, acted the way she wanted, and basically made it his mission to make her happy, so when she left him for another man, it left him numb and empty, unsure what his life even meant anymore.  He was slowly suffocating, until his brother stepped in with a task he knew would pull Cas out of his funk.  Help a friend's reclusive older brother set up some bee hives and make his farm safe and inviting for the bees.  He didn't expect for Cas to find so much more than just himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight of the Bumblebee

**Author's Note:**

> I done fluffed again. I know, I know, so many of you will read this and beg for more. I may or may not do more. If I get enough requests I'll add it to the expansion list that TyneSwedish is so thoughtfully keeping for me. I do hope you enjoy this one. I was all up in the feels this evening....

If you would have told Castiel Novak after college that in seven years’ time he would be single, broke and evicted from his sad excuse for an apartment, he’d have told you that you were nuts, but here he was in exactly that predicament. His life was spiraling and he didn’t how he was supposed to fix it. He wished he could say he didn’t know how his life ended up this way, but that would have been a lie. He knew exactly how he got here. 

This time last year he’d been engaged to Meg, had just moved up in her father’s law firm to junior associate, and they were talking about buying a house together. She was his college sweetheart, the one and only person he had ever dated, and he’d grown to love the girl with the chocolate eyed and sharp wit, and never once had he doubted that he could possibly be anything but razor straight. Why would he? When he was with Meg he never so much as even looked at another person. Even as his feelings for her began to fade and the realization that he while he still loved her, he wasn’t _in_ love with her, he was willing to commit to her for the rest of his life. She was all he’d ever known. She, however had not felt the same way. One morning she had woken up and called him into the kitchen to tell him that she didn’t have the same feelings for him that she’d had in the beginning, and that she had met someone else and needed him to move out. 

Just.

Like.

That.

They were over.

Ten years together and now here he was, living on his brother’s couch, working as a clerk in a pathetic excuse for a law firm because no one would hire him as an actual lawyer after Meg’s dad decided to blame the break up on him exclusively, and then proceeded to tear down Castiel’s reputation. He blamed himself for it too. 

If he’d tried harder.

If he’d bought her more things.

If he’d taken her more places.

If he had just…he didn’t know, but he was sure he should have done it. 

This particular Saturday his brother was floating around the apartment singing and dancing as he cleaned and Cas couldn’t bring himself to move from the couch. It was becoming harder and harder for him to find the motivation to do much of anything, and the most annoying part was that his brother wasn’t allowing him to wallow in his depression like he wanted to. He hated his brother’s music and Gabe couldn’t sing to save his life. 

“Seriously?” He growled when his brother danced in front of the couch, his back to Cas as he bent over to organize the magazines on the coffee table. When he stopped to twerk Cas jumped over the back of the couch.

“What the hell?!” 

“Oh, was I bothering you, little brother?” Gabe stood up straight and looked at him. “I’m just trying to keep this place looking decent. What do you say we go out for lunch when I’m done?”

“No thanks, I’m not hungry.” 

Gabe frowned. Cas could see the concern on his brother’s face but he deliberately ignored it. As Gabe moved on to the kitchen, Cas returned to the couch, dropping down onto it and grabbing the remote. He surfed through every channel twice before concluding that there was nothing on. It didn’t matter though. Nothing did anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know what to do. Do I have the grounds to commit him? For his own good?” Gabe sighed heavily and took a swig from his beer as he waited for an answer.

“No, unfortunately you don’t. He’s technically still functional. He goes to work, he eats, he drinks, and hasn’t harmed himself. So legally, there’s nothing you can do. You could suggest that he check himself in to get help, but if he’s even half as stubborn about life suggestions as my brother is, you won’t get anywhere.” Sam chuckled and took a drink from his own beer.

“I don’t get this depression, it’s so uncharacteristic of him. He didn’t even love her anymore by the end, so I don’t get why he’s so broken up over this.” Gabe wanted badly to help his brother but he didn’t know how. He felt comfortable telling Sam because the man wouldn’t betray his confidence. It came from the fact that he was a lawyer and he took anything told in private to heart. Gabe appreciated that.

“Have you really asked him about it? I mean think about it, he didn’t just break up from a decade long relationship, he lost his job, his home, his friends. He lost everything. I think it has less to do with him missing Meg than it does with the fact that he thinks he has lost his purpose. Dean went through the same thing after Lisa. When he needed her the most, she up and abandoned him because she couldn’t cope with what happened to him. I really thought he was going to drink himself into an early grave.” Sam confessed.

“Wow, I hadn’t realized he’d gotten that bad.” Gabe had thought Dean had just holed himself up for a few months.

“It was bad. She was everything he had come to rely on, and that was his problem. He had to learn how to live for himself. It wasn’t easy, but he did it.” Sam said.

“How is Dean now?” Gabe asked.

“It’s been three years since they split but he’s good now. He’s really in a good place. Has a farm now, believe it or not. Runs it himself. He’s thinking of investing in beehives since he has twenty acres of land but doesn’t want to really grow more crops than what he himself can eat.” Sam replied.

“I can’t picture Dean as a farmer.” Gabe laughed. He’d met Dean a couple of times and there was no way he could imagine the leather wearing, beer drinking guy with a hoe turning over soil and planting corn. 

“He’s not really. He has a couple of horses but mostly he works out of his garage fixing cars. After the accident, the lawsuit made it so he won’t ever have to work again if he doesn’t want to. So he does what he wants. He’s happy, content, and that’s all that matters.” Sam was glad his brother was in a better place now. 

“Is he seeing anyone?” Gabe asked. Dean was one of the best looking guys he knew and despite his accident a few years earlier, he couldn’t imagine the guy having that hard of a time finding dates.

“Dean doesn’t date. Not anymore.” Sam replied softly. It was one of the few things he didn’t like about his brother’s new life. He wished Dean would find someone that could make him truly happy, someone that would accept him as he was and love him in spite of how flawed he believed he was. Lisa had proven incapable of that. In the relationship he’d had with her, it was Dean that had worked hard to make her happy, never concerned about his own happiness. In the end that had almost been his destruction.

“Sounds like both our brothers could use a friend.” Gabe sighed. Sam nodded in agreement.

“How is it that we never introduced them?” Sam wondered. Gabe thought about that. He’d known Sam the better part of the last decade now, but they’d never thought to introduce their brothers.

“I think Dean could maybe help Cas realize that he can move on and have a life again, don’t you?” Gabe asked. Sam nodded slowly as he considered it. He smiled as a thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Is your brother still nuts about bees?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No moping today, we’re taking a drive out to my friend’s brother’s house, and you don’t get the luxury of saying no because your advice is actually needed.” Gabe grabbed his brother’s legs and threw them off the couch so he could sit down.

“What the hell, Gabe?” Cas grumbled as he sat up. “What could I possibly offer for advice?”

“You wrote all those papers that made it into the science journals back when you were in college, and your expertise is now needed. My friend Sam? His brother bought a farm and he wants to get bees, but he doesn’t have the first clue what to do.” Gabe replied. Cas arched an eyebrow but what got Gabe was the faint flicker of interest he saw in the man’s eyes. They’d been so dull for so long now…

“Bees?”

“Yep. They asked me for advice but I don’t know squat about bees, other than what you told me about not buying plants with those nicotines in them.” Gabe said. Cas snorted.

“Neonicotinoids. Nicotine is in cigarettes.” 

“Either way, it’s not good for bees, right?” Gabe knew, he was just trying to gently nudge his brother’s hand. Depressed couch potato or not, Cas loved bees. Gabe hoped he loved them enough that he would find the motivation to want to go with to meet Dean and advise him.

“You’re going today?” Cas asked.

“Yep. It’s….” He checked his watch. “Eight thirty. I want to get out to the farm early so I can ride one of the horses. So go, take a shower, you stink.” Gabe pushed at his brother until he got up off the couch.

“Fine. I’ll be ready in a half hour.” Cas sighed as he trudged off towards the bathroom.

“Shave too, you look like you’re ready to audition for Duck Dynasty!” Gabe called after him.

“Fuck you!” Cas called back.

“I love you too, little brother!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabe drummed along to the music on the radio as they drove out of the city. Cas looked out at the farmland that rolled into view. Miles upon miles of open land. It was…peaceful. More so than he would have thought. Depending on how far out Dean’s farm was, his bees could possibly travel this far to pollinate. He’d been making a list on his phone as the miles fell away of things to mention, and that would make bee keeping easier for Dean. It wasn’t that hard, but there were definitely factors he needed to take into consideration if he wanted the hives to flourish. Not for the first time he wished that he could afford to buy a plot of land somewhere far away and raise his own bees. 

Gabe was surprised by his brother this morning. He didn’t nag at him when he’d pulled into the drive thru for breakfast, and he wasn’t complaining as Gabe sang along to the music on the radio. His face was buried in his phone and from what he could tell, Cas was making a list. Of what though, he had no idea.

“What are you doing there, Cassie?” He asked after a while.

“Putting together some things that will help your friend with keeping bees.” His brother mumbled.

“Oh, that’ll come in handy. He has twenty acres. I haven’t seen them yet but Sam says they’re mostly wildflowers.” 

Cas looked up, a surprised expression on his face. He looked so much better clean shaven. 

“He’s not growing crops?”

“Sam says no, he wants to keep it more natural, help the environment and stuff. And he got it in his head that the bees are dying out, so he wanted to try and help them as much as he could.” Gabe replied. Cas was intrigued. He knew what kind of person Sam was, they actually got along quite well. He wondered how similar Dean and Sam were. If it was anything like him and Gabe, then they were as different as night and day. Cas was looking forward to meeting the man that wanted to help the environment, and to help the bees. If he was half as nice as Sam he was sure he’d like him. He settled back in his seat and added a few more things to the list. If he couldn’t have his own bees then he wanted to do everything he could to help someone else succeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas couldn’t help but gape when they drove up the long drive and stopped in front of a single level ranch style house. It wasn’t the house itself that impressed him but the beautiful flower gardens that filled the spaces under the windows, and the fountain in the side yard surrounded by daisies. Everything looked native. 

“His wife must really have a green thumb.” He remarked as they got out.

“Dude, that was really sexist, even for you. Dean’s not married. He planted this all himself. He loves gardening but wanted native plants, and he knows about the nicotines. All of these are nicotine free.” Gabe said as he motioned for his brother to follow him.

“Gabe, really, they’re neonicotinoids, not nicotines!”

Gabe shrugged and rang the doorbell. He knew full well what they were called, he just wanted to get a rise out of his brother. When the door opened they were greeted by Sam.

“Hey, Gabe. Oh, hey, Cas! Glad you could come. We’re going to cook in the back in a few. Are you guys hungry?” Sam asked as he stepped aside to let them in.

“I’m always hungry, Samsquatch.” Gabe laughed. Sam grinned and shook his head.

“Of course you are.”

“Not really, maybe later.” Cas replied softly.

“That’s cool. We’re not starting the fire for another hour, and it’ll be a while before it’s hot enough to cook over anyway.” Sam replied. “Come on, Dean’s in the back.”

He motioned for the men to follow him and as they passed through the living room Cas took a moment to look around. It was rustic, almost like a log cabin with a large fireplace, suede couches, and what he hoped was a fake bearskin rug on the natural hardwood floors. 

“It’s not real, Dean just thought it was cool.” Sam said, noticing how Cas was eyeing it. Pictures on the wall were mostly of Sam and people Cas had never seen before. He spotted one that Gabe was in and it brought a small smile to his face. 

The backyard, if that’s what you could call it, was absolutely breathtaking. Both Gabe and Cas stopped to look out across the open land in awe.

“This is amazing.” Gabe said.

“It’s beautiful.” Cas’ gaze was drawn to the fields of flowers that seemed to be everywhere beyond the large expanse of grass that counted as the actual yard. A man in the distance waved to them. Gabe waved back.

“Hey, Dean-o!” He started off across the yard with Sam leaving Cas standing alone on the tiled patio. It didn’t bother him though. Butterflies flitted about and a fat bumblebee flew lazily past his nose bringing a smile to his face. He felt something bump his leg and he looked down to see a pretty tortoise shell cat rubbing against him.

“Well hello sweet girl. How are you?” Cas crouched down to scratch her head. She was purring loudly and meowed at him as he ran his hand down her back.

“Seems Kaz has made a friend.” 

Cas looked up to see a man approaching. He was smiling warmly and nodding at the cat.

“Her name is Kaz?” He asked, smiling. The name was cute.

“It’s Kazzy, but for short I call her Kaz. She single handedly keeps the mice out of my house. When I first moved in I had a problem with them, so Sam suggested I get a cat. I went down to the shelter and basically she picked me out. She’s got it pretty sweet here. I spoil her.”

Cas stood up and offered his hand. “I’m Cas.”

The man’s smile was warm as he shook it. “Dean. Nice to meet you, Cas. So you’re the resident expert on bees I hear.”

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “I wouldn’t say I’m an expert. Before I made the switch to getting my law degree I was actually on track to get a degree in horticulture.”

Dean nodded in approval. “That’s a pretty cool career path. What made you go into law instead?”

“External influences that are no longer in my life.” Cas replied, not wanting to elaborate. He’d never really wanted to be a lawyer, that’s what Meg had wanted.

“How about a beer, Cas?” Dean asked. Cas found himself nodding. 

“Sure.”

“Come and help me, would ya?” Dean stepped past him and the sunlight that had been backlighting him fell away and Cas got a good look at him. Wow, Dean was...attractive. He also noticed that the man walked with a cane.

“Sure.” 

He followed the man into the house and to the kitchen where he watched as Dean leaned his cane against the counter before he opened the fridge.

“So you’re a lawyer?” Dean asked.

“Yes, but I’m not currently practicing.” Cas replied.

“Are you into horticulture then?” Dean set four bottles of beer on the counter and moved over to a drawer, opening it and pulling out a bottle opener.

“Uh, no. I work in a really crappy law firm as a file clerk right now.” Cas lowered his eyes to the floor. God he was pathetic.

“Hey, work is work, right? Besides, it doesn’t sound like law is where your heart lies. I saw the way you were looking at the butterflies before. You’d rather be outside with plants and bugs than in a stuffy courtroom, am I right?” Dean held out a bottle to him, that warm smile still in place. Cas smiled back.

“Honestly? I haven’t thought much about it lately, but…yes, I think I would. Bees, butterflies, heck, even cats ,they’re less judgmental than people are. Easier to get along with.”

“And now you know why I’m out here and not in the city anymore.” Dean’s smile widened and he winked. Cas felt himself relaxing. Dean was nice. He’d known he would be, he was Sam’s brother after all.

“Your house, your gardens, they’re beautiful. Gabe said you planted everything yourself?” Cas asked as he took a sip of his beer.

“Yes. Let me give these to the guys and I’ll show you what this place looked like before I moved in. And I’ll tell you about my plans.” 

Cas took one of the unopened bottles and followed Dean back out to the yard. Sam and Gabe had moved over to a patio table with an umbrella and they were sitting, chatting. Dean had brought the bottle opener and he opened both bottles before handing them over.

“I’m stealing Cas for a while. We’re going to talk plants.” Dean said.

“Prepare to be the one doing more listening.” Gabe laughed. Cas tried to glare at his brother but found he couldn’t. His brother was right.

“What, I like plants!” 

Dean chuckled and patted his shoulder. “It’s alright, so do I. Come on, I’ll show you those pictures now.”

They made their way back up to the house and somewhere along the line Cas ended up carrying Kaz who rubbed her head against his chin and snuggled against him.

“She has to stay out here. Don’t worry, she was a barn cat when I adopted her. I love her to pieces but I’m allergic. Plus she doesn’t like being inside.” Dean said. Cas put the cat down and she darted off after a butterfly.

“Do you have a set up out here for her?” Cas asked as they went inside.

“Yep. Several, actually. She has a space all to herself up in the hayloft in the barn which is heated in the winter, and there’s a heated doghouse in the corner that I converted for her right before I adopted her. Like I said, she’s spoiled.” Dean winked again and motioned for Cas to follow him into the living room.

“Have a seat.” He pointed at one of the couches and Cas sat down, watching as Dean went to a bookcase on the other side of the room and plucked a photo album off the shelf. He came back and sat down next to Cas, opening up the book.

“There was nothing here when I bought it, but I saw its potential. I researched native plants and hunted for non-GMO, heirloom plants, and I had some cuttings planted to encourage the native plants to take hold. Those fields back there? They were barren when I moved in. I use one acre for food, ten for the horses, and the rest is all wildflowers. I just closed on another ten acres last week, on the east side of this property. So I now officially own a section of the creek too. I’m up to thirty acres now.” Dean said proudly.

“It’s amazing. I’ve always wanted something like this. I envy you.” Cas admitted. When Dean looked up at him again a strange feeling seemed to ripple through him. Dean was attractive, but it was more than that. Cas realized he was attracted to Dean. How did that happen? He hadn’t been attracted to anyone before, during, or after Meg. Only to Meg. But even that had been different. And she was nowhere near as nice as Dean. This was the first time that he could remember being attracted to another man. He found himself wondering if Dean was interested in men, not that he was in the market for anything. Still, spending an afternoon here, talking plants and bees was infinitely more appealing than going back to his brother’s apartment and taking up residence on the couch again. Maybe Gabe was right, he’d been wallowing for much too long. Maybe he needed to find his true passion once more and grab hold of it. He smiled up at Dean, feeling happier in that moment than he realize he he had in more than a decade.

“So, I made a list…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They’ve been in there a long time.” Sam kept glancing towards the house and it made Gabe chuckle.

“Good. I hope your brother has some kind of positive effect on mine. Cassie has forgotten how to feel. Did you know that before he met Meg he was earning his degree in horticulture? Not law. Meg was the one that talked him into dropping his major and picking up law. She wanted a boyfriend that would spoil her and buy her expensive things, so she made Cas into the person she wanted. Then she dropped him on his ass when she found someone wealthier and more powerful. Cas has forgotten who he is. I hope this little foray into flowers and bees will help him remember where is heart really lies.” Gabe found himself gazing up at the house, hoping Cas was making a friend, and that he was having fun with Dean.

“I never did like Meg.” Sam said.

“No one did, except my brother. I thought it was really low what her dad did, but…maybe it was a good thing. Cas never wanted to be a lawyer. Deep down inside, he’s a flower child. I hope he remembers that.” Gabe drained off the last of his beer and stood up. “I’m going to get another one. You want one?”

“Yeah.” 

Gabe collected empty bottles and started for the house. It was quiet when he walked in, neither Dean nor Cas anywhere in sight. He grabbed two more beers, popping the tops on the counter and praying Dean didn’t kill him for that. He moved to the open front door and looked out. His brother and Dean were on the other side of the fountain with their backs to the house. Dean was pointing out plants and Cas was nodding, talking rather animatedly, though Gabe couldn’t hear him from where he stood. Every now and then Dean would touch Cas, on arm, a light hand on his lower back, always directing him to some new plant he was pointing out, and Cas always seemed to lean into it. Gabe chuckled to himself and went back out into the yard, handing off one of the bottles to Sam before sitting back down.

“Say, is Dean straight?” He asked. Sam choked on the swig he’d just taken, turning his head as he coughed beer all over the grass.

“What?”

“It’s just a simple question. He’s out there getting awful cozy with Cassie and oddly enough, my brother seems to be enjoying it.” Gabe shrugged. Sam stared at him for a long moment, one eyebrow raised before he finally answered.

“No, he’s not. Straight, I mean. I think he’s bi but I never really stopped to ask.”

Gabe nodded. “Cassie only ever dated Meg. He’s never dated anyone else. But I’ve always wondered. He never looks at anyone. Not before Meg, not after her. I think he started dating her because she was pushy and found him attractive and easy to manipulate. And he grew to love her.”

“He could be demisexual.” Sam said.

“What’s that?”

“It would mean that he has to form an emotional connection to another person in order to find them attractive, and by that I mean beyond just looks. Dean’s a good looking guy, but he’s nice, he’s funny, he’s thoughtful, and those are what really count. He doesn’t see himself as whole after the accident. I think he’s afraid that there’s no one out there that will accept him now. Lisa left him, she couldn’t handle it, so he figures that if she left, other people will too. So he doesn’t try anymore.” Sam cleared his throat and took another sip from his bottle.

“That’s sad. He’s as sad as my brother. I’m depressed now.” Gabe frowned.

“Hey, maybe they can show one another what it means to live again.” 

Gabe tapped the bottle against his lip as he thought. “Maybe you’re right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lady Slippers, what a precious name for such a tiny, delicate flower. And you say they’re in the orchid family?” Dean asked. They had moved over to a bench Dean had put under the old oak tree in the front yard that overlooked the fountain.

“They’re beautiful and I think that if we went down by the creek you’ll see them already growing naturally.” Cas replied. Dean kicked at the rocks under his right foot as he looked out across the yard. Cas found himself watching the man as he sat thinking. 

“See something you like?” Dean asked. He was smiling, though his eyes were still looking out past the fountain.

“What?” Cas turned away, willing the burning of his face to go away. Dean chuckled softly and leaned a little closer.

“It’s cool, I was just playing around.”

“I didn’t mean to stare. My brother used to chastise me all the time growing up for doing that. I like watching things, whether it’s animals, people, butterflies. I won’t do it anymore.” 

Dean reached over and squeezed his hand. “I don’t mind, really. People tend not to look at me at all anymore, so knowing someone is seeing me? It’s…nice.” He let go of Cas’ hand and laid his own palm down on his thigh.

“What do you mean people don’t look at you anymore?” Cas didn’t understand that. Dean was attractive and funny and smart. How could people not want to get to know him better?

“You know, aside from your brother, you’re the first person in three years to not only _not_ ask me why I walk with a cane, but you also don’t look at me with pity in your eyes. I appreciate that.” Dean said.

“Why you do anything is none of my business. It’s not my place to pry into the lives of other people. Am I curious? Sure. Will I die if I don’t know the answer? Absolutely not. I respect you, Dean. And I don’t pity people. Everyone has a journey. For some it’s more difficult, but the fact that you persevered and overcame whatever obstacle brought that into your life?” Cas motioned towards the cane. “It’s a reason to admire you, not pity you.”

Dean was staring at him, his green eyes flickering with so many emotions so quickly that Cas couldn’t catch them all. Finally they softened, seeming to settle on gratitude.

“Thank you, Cas. I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard since my accident.”

Cas smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“Are you hungry? I was going to start a wood fire. How does Applewood grilled burgers sound?” Dean asked.

“They sound amazing.” Cas replied, and for the first time in almost a year, he meant it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The afternoon was the most pleasant one Cas had experienced in years. He took over helping Dean start the fire in the iron pit on his patio while Sam and Gabe headed out to the barn to feed and ride the horses. Once the fire was going, Dean motioned towards the porch swing in the corner. Cas nodded and they went over to sit down. The rocked slowly as they watched the fire.

“I’ve never eaten food cooked over a fire like that.” Cas admitted.

“It’s the best, and I’d rather cook that way than to use propane or charcoal.” Dean told him. 

“Makes sense.”

“Will you come out again? Once I order the hives. Or, you know, whenever. No one but Sam ever comes out to visit me.” There was a hint of sadness to Dean’s words that struck a chord with Cas. 

“I would like that.” He said. And he actually meant it. They sat in companionable silence, content just to be in one another’s company for a long time.

“I want to tell you what happened. It’s weird, I don’t know you well, but I’m more comfortable around you than I have been around anyone in years.” Dean said after a while. He looked over at Cas who peered up at him and smiled.

“I know what you mean. I…don’t have any friends. Not anymore. Not that I ever really did. So I just don’t connect with people. But you’re nice, Dean, and I’m comfortable around you.”

“You have friends. Me and Sam. Don’t ever think you don’t have people that care. Your brother cares too, even if he’s a pain about it. Brothers tend to be like that.” Dean snickered and bumped Cas’ shoulder, making him grin.

“I know, and I’ve treated him like crap this last year. He didn’t deserve it. He went out of his way to help me when no one else would.” Cas sighed heavily. He owed his brother a lot.

“Do you want to talk about it? I have this amazing ability to listen without passing judgment.” Dean winked again and smiled, and Cas felt something new stirring inside him. He liked it when Dean did that. 

“No, I don’t, but…I need to, and Gabe doesn’t get it. He doesn’t actually listen to what I have to say, he just gets mad.”

“Girl problems?” Dean asked. Cas rolled his eyes and groaned.

“That’s an understatement.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next half hour was spent with Cas telling Dean everything, from how he had taken a horticulture class in high school and had fallen in love, and how he had intended to get his degree in it so he could work on the conservation of certain plants. He had decided on a double major, in horticulture and biology, minoring in entomology, until his second year when the girl with the chocolate eyes sat down next to him in his English class. She had been flirty, rather pushy, yet intriguing and when she suggested they go out on a date, he had agreed. One date turned into two, and then three. Before he knew it he had a girlfriend that was controlling and demanding, and he wanted nothing more than to please her. He explained that looking back on the early years of their relationship he should have grown a backbone and left, but she paid him attention when no one else did, and he became dependent on her. He needed her approval and acceptance. He craved her attention. 

He explained how when she asked him to change his major, he did it without a second thought, earning a law degree and passing his bar with flying colors. He described his career working for Meg’s father’s law firm and how he had worked eighty hour weeks in order to move up the ranks, and the promise of a partnership was being dangled over his head if he proposed to Meg, and so he had. He made junior partner and they were planning their wedding when she suddenly announced that she wasn’t in love with him anymore, and wanted him to move out.

“I lost the only person I’d ever been with. At first I was demoted, and then once I had officially been forced out of the apartment, I was fired. Her dad put out the word to all of the good law firms here and in quite a few big cities, telling them not to hire me. All I could get was this shitty clerical job and I couldn’t afford the rent on the crappy apartment I moved into, and I was evicted. Gabe let me come stay with him and I’ve been living on his couch ever since. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I have no direction. What am I supposed to do? I don’t know how to be happy.” Cas wiped at a stray tear and when Dean put an arm around his shoulder, he leaned into him, allowing the man to comfort him.

“Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but even though I just met you today, which is crazy in and of itself because I’ve heard Sam mention you dozens of time in passing over the years, but somehow they managed to never introduce us until now, I think I know what would make you happy, and that’s to follow your heart. If plants and bugs make you happy, dude, get down in the dirt, plant flowers, play with the butterflies, just…be. If you’re not happy as a lawyer, then don’t be one. You need to find _your_ happy. You only knew her happy for so long that you lost your way. I think…” Dean looked out over the expanse of his property. “That you’re finding it again. Slowly.”

“Thank you, Dean. I think I would like to go back and finish my original plan. Planting, growing things, it does make me happy. Bees especially make me happy. I am honored to be able to help you in your conservation efforts.”

Dean smiled and squeezed his shoulder. “I think we both needed a friend. I moved out here to get away from people, but once I was alone, I was too alone. So I got a horse. Then I was asked by a neighbor if I wanted to adopt his mare as he was battling bladder cancer and he couldn’t continue her care. But then I wanted something I could interact even more with. That’s when Kaz came into my life. She’s really my best friend. Even if she makes me itch and sneeze. I got a few chickens for eggs and meat, but I found that I don’t have the stomach to process them myself, so they’re pets with benefits, but I spend a lot of time out there talking to them. I don’t have anyone but Sam anymore. It’s…lonely.” Cas was the first person he had ever told that to. Not even Sam knew how lonely he sometimes got out here.

“I don’t see why you don’t have tons of friends, you’re so very nice and easy to talk to.” Cas spoke earnestly. Dean smiled.

“I pushed people away. The end result was no one wanted to put up with me anymore. The only person I couldn’t push away was my brother. I’m broken, I know this, but I’m working on patching myself up.”

For a beat Dean was quiet.

“I was in a car accident. It wasn’t my fault. I died, but the doctors brought me back. At first I wished they hadn’t. Now, I think maybe they did because I had other things that I needed to do, people to meet.” He smiled over at Cas who blushed had ducked his head.

“So it was a bad accident?” 

“It was. I had just bought a car for my girlfriend, Lisa. Brand spanking new, right off the lot. I was driving it home to surprise her. It turned out that there were a recall on those cars and the dealer had sold it to me anyway. I was driving around a turn on a cliff, no less, when the tire rod snapped. I…went over the cliff. The car crashed got wedged in some rocks. If it had gone all the way over, there’s no way I would have survived. Instead I tumbled about four hundred feet before the car got pinned. I was trapped inside. Someone saw me go over and called 911 and I was cut out with the Jaws of Life, airlifted to the nearest hospital where I coded. When I woke up from a six week long coma I was missing a few parts.” Dean pulled the edge of his pants on his left leg, revealing a prosthetic. He looked up at Cas, watching his reaction carefully.

“If you think I’m going to turn my back on you, you’re mistaken.” Cas said matter of factly. Dean dropped his pant leg, a relaxed, lazy grin on his face.

“You’re pretty damn cool, Cas.”

“You may be the only one to think that.” Cas said seriously.

“So, since Meg, what have you been doing?” Dean asked.

“Barely surviving, if I’m being truthful. Working, sleeping, watching reruns of Dr. Sexy, slowly starving emotionally and physically. I let myself wallow in my own self-pity. I’m so tired.” Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder and sighed heavily. Dean understood what he meant though. It was emotional exhaustion, not physical exhaustion of which he spoke.

“Dude, you like Dr. Sexy?” Dean asked. Cas could hear the smile in his voice, even without looking up he knew the man was grinning.

“I love it.” 

“You’re officially the most awesome person I know.” Dean leaned his head on Cas’. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this comfortable with someone that wasn’t Sam. 

They were lost in thought, both aware of the fact that sitting and cuddling was not something new friends did, but neither finding it within them to care. When the fire was finally ready, Dean tapped Cas’ shoulder.

“I have to go make the burgers.”

“Do you need help?” Cas asked.

“You can start bringing stuff out to the table. I’d like if we ate out here.” Dean said as he got to his feet.

“Alright, just tell me where things are and what all you want me to bring out.” Cas said, standing up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas had brought everything out that Dean had instructed him to, including four new bottles of cold beer and by the time Sam and Gabe came trudging back from barn, he was kicked back in one of the chairs, half finished with his own beer.

“You having a good time?” Gabe asked as he sat down next to his brother. Cas nodded.

“I am. Dean is very nice, and I am looking forward to helping him with his conservation efforts.”

Sam sat down on the other side of Gabe and adjusted the umbrella so the sun wasn’t burning his back.

“I haven’t seen my brother this happy in a while. Thank you.” He said. Cas looked up surprised.

“What are you thanking me for? We’ve just been talking.”

“That’s just it, Dean doesn’t talk to anyone, not even me, really. Not since his accident. I try to get him to open up but he just doesn’t.” Sam looked out across the yard to where Dean was flipping burgers on his handmade grill.

“You can’t force someone to open up if they’re not ready to. Try just being there, and listening without passing judgment. Sometimes you just want someone to listen without saying a word in return.” Cas glanced over at his own brother, noting the fallen look on his face.

“Yeah, I have a problem with just listening. I’ll try harder though.” Gabe said, looking up at his brother. Cas smiled and nodded.

“That would be wonderful.”

“When are you guys heading out?” Sam asked. Cas shrugged and looked at his brother. It was up to Gabe since he was the one driving.

“Whenever. If Dean starts hinting for us to go, we’ll leave.” Gabe said.

“I don’t think he’s going to do that.” Sam smirked in Cas’ direction but the man missed it. He was too busy watching Dean. When the man stood up trying to balance multiple plates and his cane, Cas jumped up and hurried across the lawn to help him.

“Wow.” Gabe stared after his brother in obvious shock.

“I’ve never seen Cas like that around anyone before.” Sam said.

“That’s because he isn’t. Do you think he likes Dean?” Gabe turned to look at Sam. Sam cocked his head but he wasn’t shaking it.

“I’m sticking to my theory that he’s demi. But maybe he’s bisexual. I mean, how could he know if he was only ever with Meg, right?”

“True…”

“Would it bother you if he was?” Sam asked.

“Hell no. I don’t care who my brother loves as long as he’s happy, and he hasn’t been happy in a very long time.” Gabe said.

“Well, I think that’s about to change.” Sam nodded towards where their brothers were. Cas was laughing at something Dean was saying, head thrown back, all teeth and gums, and Dean was grinning like a fool at him. Gabe smiled. He’d brought his brother here to help him find his purpose and reclaim himself, but it seemed that he’d found so much more that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten Weeks Later~

“Gabe! Can I borrow your car this weekend?”

Gabe stuck his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush dangling from his mouth.

“What? Why? Where are you going?”

“What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?” Cas leaned out of the kitchen where he’d spent the whole morning baking pies and looked down the hall, frowning at his brother. Gabe, the older of the two was dressing in teddy bear boxers and panda socks.

“I was just wondering where you were going that you needed my car the whole weekend.” Gabe pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth and walked into the kitchen.

“If you must know, Dean called me. The hives have arrived and he doesn’t know how to set them up. I’m going to help him.” Cas was busy sliding the pies into their mother’s old Tupperware containers. Gabe hadn’t even realized there were lids still to those things.

“And that takes the whole weekend?” He asked, one eyebrow rising in question. Cas kept his back to his brother as he continued to slip the pies into the containers. He didn’t want him to see how red his face was. 

“Dean asked me to stay. We’re going to order some flowers for the garden he’s planning in the backyard, and he wants me to accompany him to pick out a bird feeder.”

“Uh…huh…” Gabe crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter his brother was currently working at. He could see how red Cas’ face. 

“I don’t even know what you are implying with your tone. Dean is my friend, the first one I’ve made since high school that wasn’t someone Meg forced on me.” Cas was trying to sound calm but Gabe knew him all too well.

“You like him though, don’t you.” He nudged his younger brother, earning an annoyed glare from him.

“It’s ok if you do. He’s a pretty good looking guy, but he has a really big heart. I think that’s what you like most about him, that he’s warm and kind.”

Cas sighed as he laid his hands flat on the counter. He stared straight ahead at the tacky, red tiled wall. For the millionth time he wondered who tiled a kitchen in blood red?

“I don’t understand what I feel. I don’t get feelings for people. I didn’t even have them in the beginning for Meg, but I do feel something with Dean, almost from the moment I first met him. It’s like we connected on a deeper level. He…makes me happy. And there’s this strange fluttering in my abdomen whenever he looks at me a certain way, or touches me. It’s like fireworks are exploding. And…I like it.” He looked over at Gabe and his brother could see how scared that made him. 

“Come here a minute. Sit with me.” Gabe nodded towards the kitchen table and they sat down.

“So, not that we spend any length of time actually talking about either of you, because really, we have better things to do, Sam and I had a very brief conversation a few weeks back, when we went out to Dean’s house the first time. We both noticed a change in you and in Dean. Sam suggested that maybe you are demisexual. Do you know what that is?” 

“Yes, I do. I’ve actually come to the conclusion that the term does well to describe me, as does the term bisexual, since I seem to be finding Dean sexually attractive as well as physically attractive. Right after Meg and I split, I spent several weeks trying to research why I felt nothing towards people, other than family and a few others. I thought it was the depression alone but since I’ve been seeing my doctor and started taking medication, it didn’t change that. The only person I feel anything for is Dean. And frankly, it’s freaking me out a little. I don’t know what to do about it.” Cas was afraid. He didn’t want to lose the only friend he’d been able to make on his own as an adult.

“You tell him how you feel. He looks at you like you hung the moon and stars. I’m pretty damn sure he feels the same way about you.” Gabe said.

“I thought Dean didn’t date though. I’m not even sure if I date. I don’t know how to date. Do you just ask them to go places with you?” Cas wondered.

“Do you mean like him asking you to come out to spend the weekend at his house so you can buy flowers and bird feeders?” 

Gabe snorted at how big and round his brother’s eyes got.

“You-no….”

“Ask him how he feels about you.” Gabe urged. Cas chewed on his lower lip as he thought about how to even do that.

“I just don’t want to lose him.” 

“You won’t.” Gabe was sure of that. He’d lied when he said that he and Sam barely talked about Cas and Dean. Since first introducing them, they were practically all they talked about. Sam said Dean was always talking about Cas, how smart he was, how funny he was, how blue his eyes were. Sam said if he didn’t know any better he’d think Dean was falling in love. Since they’d first introduce them they’d been making the trips back and forth to see one another, and Gabe had to rely on other people for a ride most weekends because Cas was taking his car back and forth to the farm all weekend long, every weekend. Now he wanted to stay the entire weekend. He was going to have to do something about getting his brother a car of his own if this kept up. He didn’t complain though. Cas was up and moving about, cleaning, cooking, baking, and he’d been looking at local universities again, ones that had horticulture courses. Gabe was proud of the progress his brother was making, and if being forced to be on foot every weekend was the price he had to pay to see his brother happy, it was a price he was more than willing to pay.

“So I’m guessing you have tortured me again by making a half dozen pies for Dean and none for me, right?” Gabe sighed and looked longingly at the one pie still out on the counter. Cas smiled.

“No, that one is for you.” 

Gabe clapped his hands together in excitement. “Thank you!”

“I’m going to head out, if that’s alright that I can take your car. I promise to top off the tank before I bring her back.” 

Gabe waved him off. “Go, be with your Prince Charming. But do me a favor, when you tell him how you feel and he admits to the same feelings, do me a favor? Text me and let me know I was right?”

Cas laughed as he got up and began stacking the plastic containers of pie in one of the reusable shopping bags that he insisted on using for everything from shopping to laundry.

“Thank you, Gabe. For everything. Being my brother, putting up with me, and for introducing me to Dean. I am especially thankful for that.” He told his older brother.

Gabe smiled and stuck his toothbrush back in his mouth. “Go, have fun. You might want to pick up condoms and lube on your way out of the city.” He said as he started back down the hall.

“Gabe!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Gabe were enjoying the last quarter of the football game when Gabe’s phone chimed from its spot on the coffee table. Normally he would ignore it but it was playing Flight of the Bumblebee, Cas’ personal ringtone. He woke the phone up to see he had a text.

Cas: I told him.

Gabe smiled and nudged Sam just as his own phone buzzed. He pulled his out and checked his own message.

“Holy shit…” The man said softly. Gabe decided to text his brother back.

Gabe: And???

Cas: He said he loves me. Gabe, he’s in love with me!

“Wow.” 

Sam looked over at him. “My brother just texted me and told me that he told Cas he loves him. Gabe held up his phone so the other man could see the messages.

“I know. I think Cas is in shock.”

Gabe: And what did you say?

It was a few minutes before Cas replied.

Cas: The truth. That as much as I tried to be in love with Meg, I wasn’t. But I am with him. This feels so weird!

Gabe smiled.

Gabe: Enjoy it and make the most of it. You make one another happy and that’s more than most people get in a lifetime.

Cas: Perhaps I should have heeded your warning about stopping for condoms.

Gabe cringed.

Gabe: TMI, little bro, TMI

“What did he say?” Sam asked when he saw the grimace on his friend’s face. Gabe shuddered and handed Sam his phone. He watched the man’s curiosity fade as he turned pale, a grimace of his own forming.

“Eww.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Gabe said as he put the phone down. Who knew, maybe in another seven years Cas and Dean would be happily married with a couple of kids and a plethora of bees? He liked that thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Cas lucked out at the end here, I think. I do envy those butterflies and fireworks he's feeling. It's been forever since I've had the joy of experiencing that. So yet again I live vicariously through my fics. I'd love to connect with someone on that level. Most people don't want to take the time with me. Oh well, their loss. I'm awesome once you get to know me! (Hiding my own self-esteem issues under a mask of confidence).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one. Leave me a comment and a kudos when you finish it!


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